Piano Teaching Q&A: Teaching Mama

March 20, 2013 Jennifer Boster

I have had many great questions asked by readers in the recent months and have been so horrible at responding to some of them!! So, I thought I’d start with one that somewhat explains why it sometimes takes me awhile to answer these questions…it’s because I’m a busy mama! 🙂 I know that a lot of you understand this, having children yourselves, and so I hope to hear your feedback on this important question as well!

Here’s the question:

Teaching When You Have Your Own Small Children:

You might have answered this before, but I haven’t found it on your site, but I have a question about teaching once you start having your own children. How do you keep them entertained/safe/QUIET while you’re teaching other students? Has that been difficult for you? Or would you recommend taking a break from teaching when your children are very young? I don’t have any kids quite yet, but I just got married and know they’ll come along sooner or later and I want to be able to figure out what I’m going to do with my students when that time comes. Thanks again for all your fun ideas and hard work!

Thanks for the great question! I have talked about this topic a little before, but not for awhile. And now with child #3 on the way I feel better-equipped than ever to answer it 🙂

this little man made me a mama!

I have been blessed to be able to successfully teach for the past 5 1/2 years since becoming a mother. At some times I have taught more than others, sometimes it has been harder than others, but I have learned a few things along the way about how to make it work.

First of all, I think you need to determine your priorities. For me, my kids are most definitely my priority. I have always wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. To me the most important thing is to be there for my kids. I particularly have determined that will not be a mom who is always teaching in the afternoon when my kids get home from school. To me it is important to be there when the kids come and go, to talk, to help with homework, to read, to play, etc.

me and my buddy boy

Now, having said that, I think that teaching piano is wonderful! It is such a rewarding way to use my training and talents. I love seeing my students progress. I love being able to work at home to help put my husband through school 🙂 and to earn a little extra income. I LOVE having a job that I love that is flexible; I am my own boss, I choose my own hours, my own vacation days, etc. It is a pretty ideal job. And with the training and experience that I have, I can make just as much working at home for just a few hours a week as I could make outside of my home at a “regular” job for many, many more hours. It is such a blessing. And, I definitely see myself as a piano teacher for life. Even if I take a break while my children are young, it doesn’t mean I won’t continue my teaching in other ways (preschool music classes, maybe some group lessons involving my kids when they are older, maybe an adult student or two while all my kids are at school, and definitely teaching a lot more once my kids are grown).

So here are some ideas and suggestions that I have learned over the years to help balance teaching and mothering.

It’s all about scheduling! When you are a mother of young children, you must take into account your child’s schedule, as well as your spouse’s. Before I had children I had a moderately large studio, about 20 students. When I had my first baby we moved shortly before, so I had to drop all of my students.

me & my daughter

NAP TIME: When my son (my oldest) was a baby, I started teaching just one or two people, and was able to schedule lessons during his nap time. It worked most of the time. 🙂 He was a pretty regular sleeper. It was so nice to have a little time each week to use my talents and interact with other adults again after having my baby.

QUIET PLAY TIME IN THE ROOM: As my son grew and became a toddler, I started to pick up a few more students and to work on getting my NCTM. My husband worked odd hours and would sleep a lot during the day. I was still able to teach while son napped, but there were more and more times that he would be wide awake when lesson time rolled around. Luckily, I only taught one or two students at a time. He was pretty good at playing quietly in the room, or would quietly watch a little show on my iPod while I taught (not ideal, but it worked). Since it was just once or maybe twice a week that this would happen, it worked fine. However it was definitely not ideal and not as professional as I would like to be. But, my son came first, and my students/their parents were very understanding.

getting a little picture-happy now…

CHILDCARE BY SPOUSE OR FAMILY MEMBER: When my son was two, we moved to a new state for my husband to attend optometry school. As my son grew older it got trickier to teach. It is a constant balancing act between keeping your child occupied/safe/quiet and having a quiet/productive/professional lesson. With my husband in school, he was definitely busy but since he wasn’t working full-time he was able to be home a little bit more. Since money was tight and my teaching really helped pay the bills, my husband and I figured out a schedule and made my teaching more of a priority. I tried to schedule lessons at times when my husband could be home. This worked very well. I would teach all or most of my students in one afternoon while my husband and son had play time together. This, to me, was the most ideal solution. My son was not neglected at ALL, he was playing with his Daddy, I had a chance to use my skills, interact with people, and to help make some money for our family, and lessons were quiet and professional. If you live near family members (which we do not), you could also work out some kind of a deal with a family member to help watch your kids for a few hours one afternoon.

HIRE A BABYSITTER DURING LESSON TIMES: I have only done this occasionally, but I have friends who have been able to either swap babysitting with another friend with young children, or to hire a teenager in the neighborhood to play with their children while they teach. This could be an excellent solution as well!

After I had my daughter, teaching got even more tricky. I admit that I did teach many lessons with her sleeping in her swing in the room, or sitting on my lap (mostly quietly!). I found some other solutions that worked well:

look at that face…
how can you teach with those eyes looking at you?? 🙂

TEACHING IN THE EVENINGS: My kiddos have always gone to bed around 7:00. They are very good sleepers (most of the time) and are used to hearing the piano while sleeping. I focused on getting more students who were able to come to lessons in the evenings. I got more adult students (who are really rewarding to work with!!) and just LOVED this schedule. I was usually able to teach from around 7:30 to 9:00 pm, while my husband studied hard for school. This schedule worked so great for our family. Of course there are times when kids get sick, or won’t go to sleep, and you need to be flexible. But for the most part this worked so well.

Along with creative scheduling, you also need to be able to BE FLEXIBLE. I usually schedule in an extra lesson or two in the semester in case of sickness or other cancellation. My kids tend to get sick a lot, so this has really been important. Your students/their parents need to be flexible as well, and you need to be able to reach them in the event of a sudden sickness, to let them know to not come to lessons that day.

CHANGE THE FOCUS OF YOUR STUDIO: Another way I have facilitated my teaching as a mother is by shifting the focus of my studio. As my son has grown and shown interest in music himself, my interests have also shifted because I have wanted to find ways to teach him music as well! It was in large part because of my son that I started teaching preschool piano classes, which has turned into a wonderful curriculum of “Early Explorers” and “Mighty Musicians” music classes. My son attends the classes, and all the hard work is worth it to me because my son loves it so much. And now my daughter, who is 19 months old, can at least attend the classes and is starting to participate as well. I don’t have to feel like I am choosing teaching over mothering. As my children grow, it will be interesting to see how my focus shifts further. Maybe some group lessons involving my children and some neighborhood kids as well? Who knows!

my two favorite students!!

TAKE A BREAK!: With my oldest now attending Pre-K each day, my toddler daughter exploring and living life to the fullest, and my third child about to be born in six weeks, I have definitely slowed down in my teaching, and plan to take a break. I still have one private student, and I am teaching my preschool classes. So I have slowed down to focus on my children and my pregnancy, and it is the best decision right now for me and my little family. We will be living here for about another year after baby boy is born, and then will be again moving out of state. So for this next little season at least, I will be taking a break and focusing on what matters most to me and my kiddos.

Some scheduling ideas for the future:

TEACH HOME-SCHOOLERS WHILE MY KIDS ARE AT SCHOOL: Once all my kiddos are in school, I think this sounds like a fantastic idea. I will be there when my kids come and go and won’t have to choose between my kids and my students, but still be able to teach (in a quiet house!).

TEACH GROUP LESSONS: Putting those home-schooler students in group lessons would be an even better (and super time- and money-efficient) way of teaching to maximize my time spent teaching. I think the only way I would teach group lessons after school is if one of my kids was involved in the group. Could be lots of fun!

I love my fun music classes!

PRESCHOOL MUSIC CLASSES!: I just love teaching these classes, and want all of my kids to get a chance to participate. I’d love to have some morning preschool classes which my young children at home could attend while my older ones are at school.

So, in conclusion – it is possible to teach while you have young children! But first you must determine your priorities, and schedule accordingly. You and your students need to be flexible. Also, you need to learn to say “no” to too many students or too many studio-related commitments that take away from your family. I also have had to learn to accept only students in my studio who I feel good about teaching and who work hard and progress. If they don’t, it is simply a waste of my precious time as a mama. Yes, it is difficult. And yes, sometimes the answer is simply to take a break. But that is the great thing about this job – you are the boss! My advice is to talk it over with your spouse, do what feels right for your family, and if it is ever too much, don’t be afraid to make a change.

Good luck!

What ways have you readers found to help balance teaching and family? I’d love to hear about your experiences and your ideas and suggestions.

Read my follow-up to this post here!

Teaching tip Tuesday: Give yourself a vacation!

April 3, 2012 Jennifer Boster

3 Comments

Group Teaching: Scheduling & Music Selection

January 14, 2011 Jennifer Boster

1 Comment

Piano Teaching Q&A: Maternity Leave

January 11, 2011 Jennifer Boster

2 Comments

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I am due with my 3rd child in about a month and currently have 8 piano students ages 7-11. They are all in the Primer Bastien book, except 2, who are in level 1. As important as my piano students and their success is to me, my family comes first, so I have been thinking of taking a break for about a month to adjust to the new baby. I’m due January 26th, so I was going to just teach through January until the baby comes and then start up again in March. I would love to get your input and advice on how to make this break time not hinder the progress of my students and what kinds of things to give my students to work on while I’m out. I welcome any suggestions and thank you in advance for your help.
Sincerely,
Haley Castillo

Hi, I just had my second baby a few months ago, so this is fresh on my mind. I’m exhausted! Good luck with your third! I hope I can answer this in a way that will apply to other teachers as well. There are a couple of different ways to handle a maternity leave. One is to find a substitute teacher to teach your students while you are gone, and the other is to just give your students a break for a while.

Substitute

If at all possible, I recommend finding a substitute teacher to take your students while you are recovering and adjusting to life with a new baby. Brainstorm possibilities for someone who might be able to do this: do you have a younger sibling who would like to learn to teach? Do you have any nearby relatives or friends with teaching experience or a good piano background? What about piano teachers in your neighborhood? Maybe an older person who used to teach and might enjoy a short-term return to the trade? Consider that someone who is less experienced than you will appreciate the opportunity and training, but may not push your students as hard as you would. On the other hand, someone with more experience than you should be able to keep your students challenged, but might be more expensive, and honestly, you could lose some students who may decide to transfer to the substitute’s studio permanently. There are bound to be drawbacks with anyone you choose, but it will usually still be better than losing the momentum by giving your students a month or two off of lessons entirely.

Once you have a list of a few possibilities, contact each one of them to gauge their interest and availability. Let them know how many weeks you are planning to take off, what your current teaching schedule is, and what tuition your students are currently paying. Ideally, it would be great to find someone who can maintain the same schedule and tuition your students are used to, but minor adjustments may have to be made.

Once you have arranged with someone to be your substitute, contact each of your students to let them know what you have set up. Tell them when and where their lessons will be, who they should make payment to (if you already have a good payment system in place, it might work best for them to continue to pay you, and you can just write one check to the substitute), and any other details you have worked out with the substitute. The smoother you can make this transition for your students, the less likely you are to lose any of them in the process.

Write some notes about each student for the substitute teacher. Let them know how long the student has been playing, what pieces they are working on, what skills they need to focus on, what your practice expectations are, what your reward systems are, etc. If your students will be ready to start any new literature during your absence, select that literature ahead of time and let the substitute know when to assign it. The more info you can give the substitute about your students and your systems, the smoother the transition will be for everyone involved. But keep in mind that every teacher does things differently, and the substitute will probably do some things with your students that you wouldn’t have done. And that’s okay; you might even learn something!

No substitute

If you can’t find anyone that you feel good about teaching your students while you are gone, then it can work to give your students a break for a while. You run the risk of losing some who might decide not to come back once they get out of the habit of lessons, and you will absolutely have to do a little backtracking to re-teach lost skills, but there are a few things you can do to minimize the negative impact of this time off.

Let parents know exactly when lessons will start up again. If you give them a date to put on their calendars, they are more likely to view this as a break instead of a stopping point with an optional restart.
Give students weekly assignments to complete while you are gone. Maybe they can pass off a song to a parent each week, master a new technique exercise, or complete a theory game or coloring page during their regular lesson time.
Don’t treat your time off like a break for the students. If they get out of the habit of practicing while you are on leave, they might not get back in. It’s likely they won’t practice as well as usual, but expect them to, and they might. Especially if they have weekly goals they know they need to complete.
It might help to make a calendar showing the weeks you will be gone, and to write assignments and goals directly on the calendar. Maybe younger students would enjoy crossing off the days on the calendar, or putting a sticker on each day that they practice.
Enlist the parents’ help in keeping the practicing consistent and in meeting weekly goals.
See if you can think of a fun and different assignment for the students to do while you are gone—maybe have them write a composition, do a research project about a composer, or write a story about two music notes named Fred and Harry (yeah…I’m sure you can come up with something better than that…)
Depending on what you think you are up for, you might consider making a phone call to each family once or twice during your time off, just to check in and see how practicing and other assignments are going. This can help parents and students recommit if they have slacked a bit.
Send a birth announcement to each family so they will be thinking about you! (I’m mostly kidding about this one…who has time to send birth announcements after their 3rd child?)

I hope this helps a little. Obviously there are lots of details that could be handled differently, and you will need to think carefully about each of your students and what will be best for them. I hope other teachers will add their ideas in the comments!

If you have a question you’d like to ask us, submit it here!

Creative Scheduling Ideas

May 7, 2010 Jennifer Boster

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I previously mentioned my decision to not teach in the afternoons while my children are in school (of course that won’t be for a few years, but some of these ideas are great if you’re wanting more scheduling flexibility at any time!). Although a bit seemingly crazy, this actually is quite doable. Here are some of my ideas.

Ways to teach music lessons NOT in the afternoons:

Teach in the evening. Of course this may not be ideal if you like to spend time with your spouse (so important!) in the evenings. But, what if they are in school and are studying at that time? You can make it work. My toddler is in bed by 7 or 8 each night. There have got to be teenage or adult students who would go for this.
Teach adults in the morning/daytime. I find teaching adults a great joy. I once taught a wonderful young mother lessons in the late morning. She and a friend who was also a young mother would watch each others’ children for one hour per week while the other had time to do something for themselves – I think it’s a great idea!
Teach home-school students. They have more flexible schedules! You could teach while your children are at school.
Teach in the early morning. (I only put this on this list because it works for some. It would never work for me. I am definitely not an early riser.)
Teach adult group lessons during the day, or group lessons of any age in the evening. While I have never personally taught group lessons, it seems like a wonderful experience, as well as a great way to utilize your precious time more efficiently.
Teach adults with shared lesson times. An idea I have toyed with, where two adults share one time slot. Each would get two private lessons per month, as well as a monthly group performance/theory class.
Teach on Saturdays.
Teach preschool music classes. Something I’d love to look into!

What other ideas do you have?